Fresh derogatory action in the Premier League this season, officially return fifth point fingers and laugh at events in South Africa this summer.
Fortunately for Germany. Bet you did not expect, such as opening my Gambit, after a first round that was more fulminant electrifying. Often - especially during the Uruguay against France and Ivory Coast v Portugal - I had to taser my arm just to stay awake.
The first game promised so much. In a lively Edinburgh heard just a local drunk (is there any other Scottish?) I Say and South Africa had no players to create or goals when Siphiwe Tshabalala Soccer City high roof. I saw a whole country exploded with joy. This was also the choir vuvuzela noise was suppressed at this time. I promptly informed my new friend, who lost his right to an opinion because of their national teams to get anywhere near a World Cup for 12 years. Since then, the goals were at a premium. Teams brown pants displayed every time the opposition came in half and managers have sent players to manage a system designed to give their opponents less space than a herd of wildebeest in a matchbox.
This is why demolition of Germany in Australia was a rare piece of Hollywood blockbuster escape in style in a week otherwise gritty British drama-building Council. However, the second round of matches will be miles better, as all teams do with it until the first shot seems to make amends.
Stick your Vuvuzela Jabulani
The only thing annoying me more than the constant hum of every single game is intermittently vuvuzelas journalists insist on persistent complaint about the constant hum of vuvuzelas. Begin to make a slightly clearer sound, but also those annoying plastic horns.
So how bad are the owners about how to beat a terrible life is now that the ball is moving Jabulani adidas freakier display at Justin Timberlake on amphetamines. However, for the opening week may not be directly attributed to shaky flight. The two "keepers of clowns who have made themselves - Algeria Faouzi Chaouch England and Rob Green - we can hardly blame the flight of the ball for them," I am a crook to get out of here, "moments as possible?
FIFA decided that vuvuzelas, but there is a precedent. During Euro '96 bagpipes were banned from areas prone Scotland fans watching public and ears assaulted. England's own return, however, allowing a goal during their 4-1 win in Holland, which eliminated their neighbors in the group stage competition. Ahh.
England: with hysteria hysteria
Robert Green leaked shooting Clint DempseyGreen GettyImagesRob: do everything possible to keep UK-US "special relationship"
Now maybe you understand why the FA charged bowel-relaxing Fabio € 6 million a year after everything that could go wrong did against the United States. It had all started so well. Those who do not know what was better to leave hyped within an inch of their life English press, so that when captain Steven Gerrard Emile Heskey pass the mesh after only four minutes, they thought we already won something .
Rob Green quickly disabused of that notion with the stupid blunder of his life, as Jamie Carragher with his performance in the second half, which reminds us he is slower than a paraplegic turtle. Throw in a nightmare by James Milner, Ledley King's body crisis not another road test one night and was quite unhappy. Only happy people were the poisonous tabloid hack who wanted to declare war on all your favorite Italian.
This does not mean devaluation benefits the United States, which has been made and full of spirit. But if England have serious designs the final stages as he continued to say, they should be killed kind of opportunities that fell to Heskey and Shaun Wright-Phillips too old goat Franz Beckenbauer could not withstand the assault boots saying England have been nothing but a long ball team. I bet even the neck, the 5-1 defeat in Munich in Bavaria in 2001. Nobody likes a bitter Kaiser do?
Bring outsiders
In this apparently is not ending stream of mediocrity with mud, only bright notes were delivered by unfancied teams - South Africa, as discussed earlier - North Korea and New Zealand, which has delighted us with version their bright eyes and bushy tail of underdogism.
We know very little about football in North Korea, except that they are not large to count as an attacker surreptitiously tried to register as a goalkeeper. Man refers to as their dear leader, Kim Jong-Il, they can in March the brink of nuclear war and threatens not to broadcast any of their games at home, but do not hear a bad word said about him. Their tactics were like their Dear Leader's foreign policy: Guide to defend and to attack even faster. Brazil were briefly shaken, and started a fund deserved consolation goal.
Regarding kiwi, their game was what got my thumbnail as Humdinger, and while not enough to have lived up to that billing, issued a dramatic equalizer in injury time and the first time, all white world 'Cup point. He also led cited by week, from Slovakia coach Vladimir Weiss has labeled a balance of New Zealand "small sports tragedy." Nowt as light, right?
Who wants?
As I pen this, the shock result was confirmed this week that Switzerland's neutrality aside known to cause a blow ability to increase Spain group. Vicente del Bosque dominated the game completely, but collapsed in the final stages as a pigeon with one leg. Villa and Torres squandered chance after chance, while Gelson Fernandes showed them how to do it with one of the silkiest goals in World Cup history. Switzerland went to the old 'keeper to make a man, then falls dramatically as a support striker defender blow to the head before stabbing the ball over the line "approach. Spain were the main victims, but nobody has looked especially good.
Portugal were rotten from Côte d'Ivoire, Ronaldo somehow claiming man-of-all-shot game by a half-decent in the first half. If distributed by moans he was a shoo-in. France were without hope, as sinking further into the abyss created by Raymond Domenech aka Inspector Clouseau, while Italy shows that a team of pensioners admitted on parole during the shooting of Paraguay.
At least duo South America, Argentina, Brazil claimed three points, even if they were as convincing as a bucket with three sides. Maradona men were frantic that field as he is in it and did at least create a number of occasions, but each with Jonas Gutierrez back in it is certainly a concern. As for Brazil, taking almost brave against the Dear Leader, despite offering more than sozzle spray. large teams can only get better as the tournament. At this rate, I asked for a final Germany v Chile.
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